Saturday, July 27, 2013

"'Creative' Made Me Do It!": A look at Developmental "Divas"

Hello Y'all!
I'm a pretentious asshole. Why? Well, let me give you a short list of names, these are people who all currently work for WWE, and after reading this list of names; someone is going to call me a pretentious asshole. I might as well embrace it.

Ready?

Okay, here we go: Chris Hero, Claudio Castagnoli, Nattie Neidhart, Tyler Black, Jon Moxley, Bryan Danielson, Matt Sydal.

Somebody says: You Pretentious Indie Mark, those aren't their names anymore!

But, they are to me, because I know who they really are as wrestlers; not the characters the WWE pays them to portray on television.

As Vince McMahon and his traveling circus continue to distance themselves from being a respectable Professional Wrestling promotion, and gravitating toward world domination as an evil, communist mega corporation; They somewhere had to remind themselves that they still can't actually OWN human beings as property. Therefore, they began slapping pre-packaged characters onto these people, and then began exploiting their talents and abilities for financial gain. Male wrestlers are transformed into "Superstars",  Female wrestlers are transformed into "Divas", and Wrestling as a whole is transformed into "Sports Entertainment".

Okay, so Vince McMahon demands that we change they way we think about Wrestling, and Wrestlers. Fine, but when he starts putting this in the hands of a "Creative Team"; Shouldn't this group of people have some understanding of what wrestling is? And if they are hiring top independent wrestling talent; Shouldn't they maybe evaluate what makes these performers get over with fans? Apparently not.

Somehow; wrestlers from the indies who already had cool, and unique names and personalities are suddenly popping up on WWE television sporting some absurdly lame new moniker, and have undergone some kind of personality transplant that makes them substantially less interesting them I remember them from before.

Somebody says: "You idiot! Most people watching Raw and Smackdown have never seen those guys before! They won't give a flip!"

That might be true; but I then think that those people are missing out, and WWE is missing the boat on some great talent. And since we're talking about "Divas", let's take a look at one prime example of my point in that sentiment:

Serena Deeb
Serena in SHIMMER

Serena in WWE
Many fans of Women's Wrestling just love Serena Deeb, and why not? She's an outstanding performer who puts her all into her matches, can cut great promos, grab your attention and pull you right into the action inside the ring, and she's a real treat to the eyes as well. Her entrance music loudly exclaims "What A Feeling!", as Serena drives right into her matches in full force as a lovable Heroine out to collide with the villainous heels that she is in conflict with. At least that's how it is in lovely SHIMMER-land, anyway. In WWE, it was a different story.

Serena popped up out of the crowd during one of CM Punk's attempts to "save" some of the hopeless drug and alcohol abusing fans one particular Smackdown event in 2010, and begged Punker to "Save" her. Punk shaved her head bald, and welcomed her into the straight-edge society. From there; Serena served as the group's valet, and had an occasional match where she wasn't really allowed to show just how talented she actually is. This goes on for a couple months before WWE suddenly fired her because she actually had the audacity to go out and enjoy herself with a few drinks and thus not "living out" her straight-edge gimmick that she never actually was to begin with aside from the character that she plays on television.

I don't think the dude from "Dexter" has a warrant out for his arrest because he plays a serial killer on TV, but I digress. Serena never really got what she deserved; which was the chance to prove that she could possibly get over as the most loved "Diva" in the universe just by being herself, and doing what she does best. It was one of the biggest "facepalm" moments I've had as a wrestling fan in recent times, and every idiotic thing WWE continues to do to their talent is just as stupid, but not as surprising.

Before we move on; I should note that Serena is back in SHIMMER, recently returning from an 18 month absence due to a serious concussion. She's still kicking ass, and recently struck a feud with Jessicka Havok. 

Now let's take a look at some of the recently Signed female talent that WWE is trying to turn into the "Divas" of the future. But first, I would like to mention that I think that out of all the degrading things WWE has done to their female talent; chief among them is calling them "Divas". A "Diva" is a particular type of woman; as Wiktionary would describe: "A person who may be considered or who considers herself (or by extension himself) much more important than others, has high expectations of others and who is extremely demanding and fussy when it comes to personal privileges." This description does NOT apply to everyone who has a vagina between their legs. It's like those bonehead guys who casually refer to all women as "Bitches", because WWE is inadvertently doing  just that; only with different vocabulary. 

Now as we look at these few ladies; let's do a bit of role-play where I will jump into fantasyland and pretend that in some parallel universe; I am the booker/Creative writer for WWE. I'll give me take on that after we take a look at who they are and what WWE is doing with them. And, coming off of my "Diva" rant, let's start with NXT's most popular woman who claims to be an "Anti-Diva":


Britani Knight/Paige
Britani in SHIMMER

Britani in WWE as "Paige"

If were going to know who Britani Knight is, we will have to start with her ever-so-charming mum; "Sweet" Saraya Knight.


"Sweet" Saraya Knight as the SHIMMER Champion
I never liked Linkin Park, but the song "Faint" holds some importance to me as a wrestling fan because when it comes on over the PA at the wrestling show: it's only a short time before the gates of hell open up, and the wicked queen enters the arena. Saraya is by far the meanest, and most maniacal villainess in wrestling. Saraya entered the American wrestling scene via SHIMMER a few years back as a 20+ year veteran of the European wrestling circuit. Without any exposure to the American fans; Saraya quickly become the mosted hated heel in SHIMMER. As the wicked queen; Saraya's villainy was complemented by her wacky, and annoying-yet lovable teenage princess Britani Knight.

Britani got over huge in SHIMMER, primarily because of her silliness, extremely loud and outspoken nature, good looks, and natural wrestling ability. Britani didn't stay long in SHIMMER before she was signed to the circus, but she left a most memorable impression with some great showing against the likes of Jessie McKay, and Cheerleader Melissa.

It wasn't much of a surprise that Britani was picked up for developmental seeing as she has a lifetime of wrestling experience, a natural charisma, and most importantly (to them) she's got sex appeal to boot.

The infamously idiotic "creative" team re branded Britani as "Paige"; A fiery, anti-diva. Paige was given a mysterious goth-girl personal and set about NXT fighting with the "Divas", ultimately to become the NXT Diva's champion.

Fine, so this has worked out well for her, and I'm glad because I had my doubts when I heard what they were doing. However, I think it could have worked out even better if the monkeys in creative didn't change ANYTHING about her from what she was doing in SHIMMER.

In my fantasy scenario; I would have brought Britani in exactly as she was on the indies, and I would have tried to get Saraya in as well (at least on a part-time basis). As over as Paige is in NXT, she was much more enthusiastically embraced by fans in SHIMMER. When Britani finally got sick of her mum's abuse and fought back; the crowd went apeshit. Had it been re-introduced in NXT; it would have been television gold, and Britani would be immensely more over than she currently is. The anti-diva persona could have followed suit naturally, but with Britani's natural charms and personality to reinforce it.

Tenille/Emma
Tenille in SHIMMER
Tenille in WWE as "Emma"
How many famous women can you think of named Emma? Let's see; there's Emma Watson, Emma Stone, Emma Thompson, etc. Now, how many famous women do you know named Tenille? I'm drawing a blank there. So, what the heck kind of logic is taking a girl with a unique name and then giving her a boringly common name? I mean hell, "Emma" is the 2nd most popular female baby name right now according to the Social Security Administration. BORING! I refuse to call her "Emma", she's Tenille. If your going to give her a fake name; at least pick one anywhere near as unique as her real name. Tenille's a prettier name anyway.

So, Tenille is an Australian wrestler who got her training in Calgary under Lance Storm. Tenille was very impressive in SHIMMER, and had a very bright future. She still does, but as "Emma"; I feel like she's being sorely misused. Part of the whole developmental process is to bring out more charisma in a performer like Tenille, and apparently that amounts to her "dancing" around the arena looking like a fool rather than seeing some improvements in her promos and crowd interaction. Granted, as good looking and talented as she is; she was pretty easy to overlook in SHIMMER because there wasn't much to her character. However, the creative team presented her with this bad dancer gimmick to fix that, and as a result, "Emma" just looks ridiculous to me. I think Tenille has far too much talent and potential to be portrayed this way.

Now, I would have brought Tenille into developmental and kept her in Dark matches for a while while the trainers got her abilities to talk and perform to blossom a bit more. I obviously would have left her name as is. I also would have spent time with Tenille, and tried to pick out aspects of her personality that could be amplified to cause fans to like her. Everybody loves those idiosyncratic things that stand out about people (The People's eyebrow, CM Punk's straight edge lifestyle, etc.) I think Tenille is terrific in her ring-work, and a little more outspoken Tenille could get over very well on TV.

Davina Rose/Beyley
Davina Rose in SHIMMER

Davina in WWE as "Beyley"

Now, I just love me some Davina Rose. She's a local NorCal girl for starters; but beyond that, she's a fantastic athlete and she shows some serious promise as a pro wrestler. 

Davina debuted in SHIMMER as Serena Deeb's protege. Right there is your reason why Davina is good; she's got the ultimate SHIMMER heroine as her mentor. Davina took her share of beatings and proved she's not a joke. Davina would team with the likes of Mia Yim, and eventually win some matches. She's an awesome, up and coming talent, but then she gets signed to developmental out of nowhere.

Davina is great, and has a future as bright as the sun, but I was very surprised (and a little concerned) to hear that she got signed, just like that. Davina did her time on the indies, but did not develop completely in my eyes. She's a very good athletic competitor, but she still needed work in my eyes before she was ready to head up to television. 

As usual, WWE slapped everything Davina meant to us indie fans right off the table and named her "Beyley", and since then she's been basically a jobber for the NXT "Divas" ever since. Davina is better than that, but she hasn't had enough time to really prove it. I wish the very best for Davina because I really like her, and because she deserves to be top flight talent in the coming years, but I would have given her at least a year or two more to polish up before signing her.

If I had to take Davina now (pretending to be WWE creative), I would have not changed her name (noticing a theme here?), and I would have spent a little money to send her to various indie promotions to work. I would have also spent some time with her to see what she wanted to do with herself in the business, and fought which ever way to utilize it. Davina strikes me as a woman who is in the wrestling business to be somebody, and I would have tried to find out who that person is destined to be, and put that on my tv show with trust that Davina could deliver, because I believe she can.

Last, but definitely not least:

"The Queen Of Wrestling" Sara Del Rey
Sara Del Rey in SHIMMER
In my honest, and humble opinion; Sara Del Rey is the single greatest female pro wrestler alive. I know there are Ayako Hamada fans who would disagree, but even those fans would have to put Sara in their top 5. Sara proved her worth in gold for thousands of lucky fans (I wasn't one of them) who got to see her perform live. Sara destroyed gender barriers everywhere she went, and as a result the first SHIMMER champion is one of the very best wrestlers; regardless of gender, that professional wrestling has to offer.

WWE signed Sara last July, and ever since; Indie wrestling fans have been dealing with an enormous loss in the women's division. SHIMMER fans have been exclaiming melancholy words of "I miss Death Rey" for almost a year now, and there's no going back. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy that Sara finally got a job where she can be paid anything near her worth in money; but the fact that wrestling fans cannot watch the best female wrestler in the universe on PPV television when she is signed to the only company that produces pay-per-view that wrestling fans care about is not only offensive; it's just plain stupid.

The idea of Sara training the "Divas" in NXT isn't exactly a stroke of genius; it's common sense. Having the very best on your payroll training the girls is the obvious choice, but not having the best female wrestler alive on TV isn't. Sara should be headlining Wrestlemania in the semi main event. That's just how good she is. SHIMMER fans have known this for years, but it seems that anybody who doesn't show up short of a Porn-star's looks, and ginormous fake tits doesn't get the gig. That, to me, is just insane.

Isn't WWE supposed to be the ultimate, the hallmark? Isn't this where we're going to see the best of  the very best?

Well, they want you to think so, but then, Sara Del Rey isn't on Wrestlemania. So basically, no. WWE is where some great talent goes to be forgotten, yet hopefully pass their knowledge on to prettier faces who some shithead in creative thinks will sell more tickets.

Lastly, If I was in creative; I'd have Sara doing both (and pay her damn well for it). She would be wrestling for the Women's championship against top notch competitors from around the world, just like she was in SHIMMER, but at Wrestlemania. When she wasn't kicking ass on TV and PPV, I'd pay Sara the extra cash to develop the WWE Women's division (notice i'm not using the Diva word here). 

Why WWE doesn't have her on TV, at least part time baffles me. I realize that the WWE creative only have eyes for the ultra sexy supermodel girls, and while Sara is very sexy in her own right; she's more of an athlete than a model. So then the question becomes: what the hell are you trying to sell me WWE? Wrestling? or Bullshit? It certainly looks like the latter me recently.


In closing:

I just feel that when it comes to great indie talent getting signed to WWE: The working man in me feels happy for the wrestler to get a high-paying job, but the wrestling fan in me feels shitty because I have a terrible feeling that the circus is going to abuse them. This goes for every wrestler they sign; not just women, I think about Sami Callihan, and Samuray Del Sol. I want them to succeed, and I want to watch them succeed; but I feel that the evil, communist machine is only going to misuse them. 

I write this blog hoping for change, and that wrestlers and fans both get what we all deserve.

Thanks for reading, and keep wrestling awesome!

-Cory A. Jones

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